This blog might look vaguely different. It is. It is a new blog; fashioned after the old one. Why a new blog? There are two reasons (…at least.)
When one decides to blog out their life – be it ever so mundane – there is the risk that making your life so ‘public’ can have some nasty backlashes. And yet with every avid blogger I know, they find such solace in the fact that they can blog out their thoughts, thereby purging themselves of a) clogged up feelings and ideas in their mind and b) getting away with some free therapy via the act of writing. The risk of public scrutiny never outweighs the feeling of having written out the stuff of one’s mind and heart.
I feel as if I have been ignoring a significant part of my life lately. I am also looking at a new change that I do not want to make too ‘public’. Let me explain….
1. My former husband (someone I will never refer to as my ‘ex’…) is someone with whom I hold a great deal of respect. We both hold blame in our divorce. As with any conflict – there are two sides. But throughout it all, we have tried very hard to maintain a level of friendship and respect. Not just for our children, but for our own self dignities and a healthy respect for our past lives shared.
I say this because I do not want to ever hurt Larry. I have done enough of that already. And this is where I have come to a standstill in my blogging. I would like to talk about a very special new person in my life; yet I don’t want to “flaunt it” in Larry’s face. Therefore, a reason for a separate blog.
2. Deceit in friendship. This is a difficult area to discuss. Not because it is hard for me to talk about but because it is so bizarre in nature. Bottom line: I got involved with the wrong group of people. I have been house-sitting for a friend who double-crossed me with another new friend. And deceit and mistrust in any close relationship is something I will not accept. They hurt me deeply. I have been reeling from the backstabbing. I generally take blame in things that I possibly do not particularly own and I will share blame in many things pertaining to relationships of any kind. However sometimes in life, you are just simply screwed. Unprovoked. This is just such a case. I was doing a favor for a supposed friend and was very unfairly treated. I have not even attempted to defend myself to them; they are not worth it. It is a rare time when I will let a friendship die without any effort to revive it; but I have no desire to do so in this case. I do not even want to give them the satisfaction of real estate on my blog – let’s just say, it wasn’t good. Suffice it to say, there is a part of the world that I do not want viewing my blog (personal life). Therefore, another reason for a separate blog.
I have significantly toned down my Facebook friends to those I feel I can trust. Some of the people I de-friended are people I really like, but can’t afford to have them slip up and tell something to the wrong person. I hope I have a trustworthy group now….
Enough ominous explanation? I think so….
And with that – I present the new blog.