Back in the day, we had egg babies. So many of us took the class, Family Relations and Parenting (the original Team Robertson or Team Rydings), and carried around our eggs with us to prove we were capable of parenting.
But just as M-TV is no longer about music videos, parenting classes are no longer about eggs.
Now you get computerized babies. The teacher sets your baby to Easy, Medium, or Hard (realistic, right?) and turns your baby on.
Haleigh brought home her baby on Wednesday evening and by Thursday she was ready to go all Andrea Yates on sweet little Mason.
Before coming to Council Bluffs on Friday, I received a text from H2, “I hope you know that the Devil’s child lives here now.” I laughed; knowing that being a new mother is challenging and stressful at times.
First, let me introduce you to baby Mason:
You feed him with a magnetic bottle of milk.
You change his diapers with a magnetic diaper.
You burp him, then scan a wrist thingy across his belly to register that you’ve done it.
But he’s so cuuuute…! Any time I would mention how cute he was, or pick him up to rock him, H2 would say, “They just MAKE them cute but really they’re just EVIL!” “I’m NEVER having kids!”
Scott calls it the best birth control a kid could get! He also whispers into sweet Mason’s ears that he’s a bastard child and that his father was once a fire hose.
(and we wonder why this baby isn’t adapting well!!)
The computerized baby comes with a diaper bag, carrying carseat, and the constant smell of baby powder.
H2 called this his Pimp Daddy outfit
But I still thinks he’s cute…