I find myself experiencing the same feeling I felt just before Christmas last year. I hesitate to call it sadness. It’s a feeling many generations have felt before me. It’s certainly not unique.
I realize there is a greater meaning to each of those holidays. But quite honestly I miss Santa Claus. I miss the Easter bunny. I miss the surprise and wonderment that surrounds both of those icons.
I wish I would have gone to the Easter egg hunt at church this morning. I need to make a mental note to do that next year.
I don’t have small children. I don’t have grandchildren. At this point in my life, I don’t wish for either. And before anyone jumps on this potential bandwagon, I don’t want to work in a children’s department; I am not gifted to work with small children.
But the anticipation…
I miss being around that on these holidays.
This in no way diminishes how much I will enjoy being around some pretty special people tomorrow. I am incredibly blessed to have three college-aged children who attend school and work close enough to come by. I am immensely grateful that Scott will be off tomorrow on his work rotation. I will absolutely love spending time with all of them and I’m thankful that they allow me to be a part of their lives.
There is a time and season for everything. There are many people, for a variety of reasons, that won’t be around small children tomorrow. I acknowledge and appreciate that. I am sure there are others who have experienced this same inner conflict. This blog post is not to complain or wish for different circumstances, but merely to observe a moment of personal heart transparency. One that I would imagine has been felt by many others before me.
Tomorrow will be joyful and a wonderful reminder of rebirth. I am most grateful for that.
But I’m stopping today long enough to recognize a familiar feeling of between-ness that causes some pause and elicits some mental ‘pushing passed’.
What a truly odd thing it is, this aging process…
Hug on your babies.
Love on your family.
Rejoice with your friends.
We are each gifted with some very special people who are specifically in our lives for the present time.
I wonder if I can get Baird and Hannah to sit on the Easter Bunny’s lap for just one more picture?
Thought erased. That’s just creepy.